“If you don’t ask, you don’t get.”
That’s problematic advice.
Taken to an extreme, it turns us into hustlers.
The alternative is to realize that the best asks are actually offers.
When we offer to help someone get to where they were going, we’re approaching the relationship with generosity, not selfishness.
What work would we need to do to have sufficient skill, insight and reputation to be able to offer someone else a chance to reach their goals? That’s how we get. Not by asking, but by offering.